“invent yourself and then reinvent yourself,
don’t swim in the same slough.
invent yourself and then reinvent yourself
and
stay out of the clutches of mediocrity.
invent yourself and then reinvent yourself,
change your tone and shape so often that they can
never
categorize you.
reinvigorate yourself and
accept what is
but only on the terms that you have invented
and reinvented.
be self-taught.
and reinvent your life because you must;
it is your life and
its history
and the present
belong only to
you.”
~Charles Bukowski, from The Pleasures of the Damned
Words I’ve lived by for quite some time now. It’s always a cliché when some sort of creative attaches themselves to a famous poet and qualifies their poems to mean something about their own personal lives, as if said poet were speaking to said creative. However, I don’t look at this poem as something reflective on Bukowski’s part, but more as a directive for philosophy; a thought I had long aligned myself with years before stumbling upon this poem.
Invent yourself, and then reinvent yourself. Simple. Effective.
For about 2 years now, I’ve been working at the Producing/Directing game for YouTube and digital platforms. Now, personally, I’m more of a film (digital film, but, y’know) guy, and so to me this felt sort of like taking a step back from my overall goals. By this time, I would like to have directed and/or produced a feature film. I would like to have created something of my own that would have lived or died by my own hand. And while I couldn’t tell you whether said project would have succeeded or failed, I know for a fact that it very well would have been a lesson learned, no matter the cost.
But alas, I’m still technically fresh out here in LA, and was even more so two years ago. I may have been working on films, developing projects, and in general filming for the last decade+ now, but I had never had the experience of putting together significant budgets along with legal worries, locations, crews, hours, etcetera until only about 2 years ago.
I started at Loot Crate as an on-call First Assistant Director at first. But as time went on, it was suddenly necessary that I then had to start producing some of the projects, which then lead to me directing some of the projects, and from there on I got a job as a full-time Producer at the start-up.
Since then, I’ve managed to build a cohesive and brilliant team of creators, writers, collaborators, and friends. And in that time, I went from being some Producer apart of a small team at a small(ish) company where others didn’t necessarily see a need for our department; to now being the Supervising Producer of the Production team wherein we’re relied upon now to help boost sales and fan experience.
It’s been a rollercoaster to say the least.
But in that short time of developing short films, ads, documentaries, commercials, working with major brands and studios; I’ve also gathered a really wonderful set of skills I didn’t know I needed at the time. Not to sound like I’m bragging, but I’ve befriended celebrities, executives, and movers and shakers who have the ability to move projects forward despite choppy seas; and I’d like to think that was based not only on work ethic, but on my team and my capacity to work for what was right, instead of what was “hot” or “popular” at the time. The impetus for integrity is what drives me, and I want to imbue that on every project I work on.
So with that said… I’m… kind of over it. Digital that is. Well maybe not digital, but… I’m over selling products for people who are making money off the back of my work. People who reap the successes of my brainstorming, my research, my development, all without giving me or my team enough credit, but more so, without compensating us properly for the amount of work and integrity we give each project we work on.
I’m currently working on a short science-fiction film based on some work by Simon Stalenhäg. It’s a long process, but I’m so incredibly intrigued by his work that I’ve developed (in my head) an entire feature that I’d love to explore one day. However, if it doesn’t happen, or if somehow it never gets picked up, I would be okay with that, as long as I went out of my way to develop a project of my own, that I was able to fund, get a team together on, film, edit, produce, and get eyeballs onto. I don’t care.
From there, we’ll see. My longterm lifetime goal however is to create at least one, if not several features, and I’m starting to see the clock tick as time passes on. I don’t necessarily see this as a “what-if” but more of a “when-will.” I just need to learn my lessons and build the story I need to tell.
In the meantime, if you’re interested in looking at some of my work, please feel free to go to youtube.com/lootcrate, and most of my films, be they shorts, ads, or documentaries, and whether I directed them or produced them, will be there.
Other than that, I’ll continue to invent, then reinvent. Always.
jamie parslow 